Best. Dialogue. Ever.

Once I would have said Erikson. Or Pratchett. Heck even Jordan has his good points.

But no longer.

Check this out.

A voice was heard to say, “Who dares disturb the crypt of the Immortal Space Bitches?”
“I am Grimm Shado,” said Grimm Shado, triple wand claws extending. “And I am here to take it to the limit.”

From page 179 of the author LH Franzibald’s seminal work, The Song Of The Sorcelator.

Here’s some more, in case you liked that last one. And how could you do anything but like that last one, given the sheer transcendent post-modern apocalyptic awesomeness of the writing?

Steadying himself atop the speeding Lamborghini, the Sorcelator drew his twin wands, Hurt and Burn. He was going to make damn sure the Pirate Assassins and their Metal Friends rued this day, and rued it hard.

The Ninja Shaman teetered awesomely at the edge of the rooftop; his motile lettuce Foodnillar likewise teetered. “Let’s take this to the limit,” he sneered at Grimm. “Let’s take this to the limit extreme.”

And here’s a brief excerpt from the second Tome of the series, Night After Dark;

“Come—taste the blade,” urged Seductryanyca, the words dripping awesomely from her well glossed cyberLips. Holding the Wandfyreblade lightly in one of her multi-faceted cyber-diamond circlets, she issued Grimm a challenge – one that he’d have to answer in the only way he knew how: immediately, and with awesomenity.”

This second Tome of the series (and I’m quoting shamelessly from the wiki here), “continues the way-rad adventures of Grimm Shado. While taking a brief respite at the Bangin’ Sexx Gardens of Landoramm-IV, Shado encounters a totally hot band of recently dismissed pole dancers. Their only crime: being too smokingly fine. Shado uncovers an intricate web of full-on evil, which he quickly spanks – and spanks hard.”

If you want more, and after such a feast of literary extremeness, I see no reason why you shouldn’t; check out the Penny Arcade comic strip on The Song Of The Sorcelator – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five.

If only a real publisher would take up this series… sigh.

Maybe its just too awesome for them.

New Iron Man Armor Pics!!

Quite possibly even sweeter than the Transformers pics.

Ain’t It Cool News has a picture of the grey Iron Man armor (the prototype armor Stark makes before he decides that red and yellow is much more badass) from the upcoming movie.

Check it out.

(You’ll have to scroll down the page a fair bit before getting to the armor)

More 300 stuff

Check out this exceedingly cool comparison of shots between 300 the comic book and 300 the movie.

The New Captain America?

Looks like Cap’s shield has been passed onto the one man with the strength and power to wield it properly……….

Check it out

He Will Be Missed

You may have seen this recently – Marvel Comics have killed off Captain America. After the events of Civil War, Marvel’s most recent blockbuster story, guaranteed to change the face of comics for, at least, the next couple of months, no really, we mean it, you’ll gasp, you’ll cry, you’ll believe a man can fly….

Erm, anyway.

I read Civil War, and it seemed like the ending was one big sucky cliffhanger. Now I guess we find out why that was – they were setting us up for the succeeding events in Cap’s own comic. A guy who’s faced the likes of Galactus and Thanos gets shot by a sniper whilst in police custody.

The thing that really pissses me off about this?

Its a marketing gimmic, designed to cash in on current events. And the same thing that’s happened to other similar stunts in comicdom will happen to it too (Colossus dying in X-Men, Jean Grey dying so, so many times, the death of Superman, the death of Green Arrow, etc etc.). One year down the line, or five years (more likely one, given the current state of comics) someone will bring him back. And it’ll be another great crossover event, guaranteed to change the face of comics, no really we mean it…. and so on.

And the more often they do this, the less it comes to mean. And the less it comes to mean, the more outrageous they try to become. All we’re doing, by buying into this crap, is encouraging people who can’t write a decent story and instead have to rely on giant crossover marketing gimmics to push sales.

Anyway, that’s enough from me. If you really want a fair and balanced opinion on this, check out the words of a man far wiser than I am. Or at least, The Word.